Colman Domingo’s surprising relationship confession amid love story with husband of over 10 years

Colman Domingo loves how so many women have a crush on him – despite the fact that the American actor is married to a man and has never hidden his preferences. 

Viewers fell in love with the star after watching his Academy Award-nominated performances in prison drama Sing Sing and biopic Rustin, and perhaps even after seeing his shady con-man Victor in the TV series Fear the Walking Dead. “But you can still have a crush on me,” he has said. “I still want you to think I’m hot and sexy, and I’ll flirt with you too. 

“We don’t have to limit ourselves, because I never limited myself. I’ve imagined myself having wives and children and husbands and everything.” 

With that rich baritone and Shakespearean cadence, not to mention his impeccable couture, it’s little wonder that fans are captivated. And his latest striking role is as a stylish gay man with a husband in the relationship comedy-drama The Four Seasons. Inspired by Alan Alda’s 1981 comedy film of the same name, Tina Fey’s new Netflix series reimagines three long-time couples who enjoy sharing annual vacations and family milestones. 

Tina and Will Forte portray one pair, and Steve Carell and Kerri Kenney-Silver another, while Colman and Italian actor Marco Calvani are certainly the most fashionable among these smug marrieds. Arguably, all three couples can be accused of having become a little complacent when they are suddenly forced to reassess their relationships. 

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“These people have some history, and their relationships have history. I think that affects a whole lot,” says Colman, 55, who has been with his partner Raúl Domingo for 20 years; the couple tied the knot in 2014. 

Film producer Raúl caught Colman’s eye when they were both shopping at a drugstore in California in 2005. Although they didn’t get a chance to speak, Raul placed a “missed connections” ad a couple of days later, to try to find the man who had grabbed his attention – just as Colman was about to do the same thing. They have been together ever since. 

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Although Colman portrays a character in a long-term relationship in The Four Seasons, it’s a bond that perhaps isn’t quite as strong as his real-life marriage. “When an inciting event happens with one of the couples, it changes that dynamic,” he says of the series. “You’re trying to rethink who you are, especially as you go into this next chapter of your life, and what your values are and what’s going to change and shift.” But while many of the Philadelphia-born playwright, director and actor’s award-winning roles have been intense, this series is something different. “I ran to it. It was the type of opportunity that I don’t receive often. 

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“Usually, I’m supposed to mine something, some deep soul-searching or organising the March on Washington or something,” he jests in reference to his role as civil-rights activist Bayard Rustin. His Oscar nod for Rustin last year made him the second openly gay man, after Sir Ian McKellen, to receive an Academy Award nomination for playing a gay character. The Four Seasons, meanwhile, offers some light relief. “This was an opportunity to join an ensemble, and I just wanted to do something really sweet with some people who are going to love each other and talk about relationships,” he says. “I was like: ‘Wait! I actually get to wear a cute sweater and sit at a table and have some witty banter?'”

The show isn’t completely light-hearted, however. “Underneath it all, you see that there are levels of pain, of hurt, and all those complexities. 

“You’re using your armour of humour, but you’re actually hurt because you really love that person,” says Colman, who also directs one of the eight episodes.

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In common with his character Danny, who prefers to stay in five-star hotels, Colman – whose forthcoming projects include portraying Michael Jackson’s notoriously tough dad Joe in musical biopic Michael – confesses to a penchant for luxury in his own life. “I like staying at nice hotels. I don’t like the elements; I mean, a yurt would turn me completely off,” he says, referring to an episode in which he and his on-screen husband flee a wilderness camping experience in exchange for a full-service luxury resort. “So I didn’t have to act so much,” he laughs.

Interview: Gill Pringle