John Nettles’ ‘bitter and cynical’ marriage confession about co-star ex-wife

Midsomer Murders star John Nettles, 81, is weeks away from celebrating his 30th anniversary with his wife Cathryn Sealey.

The actor tied the knot for the second time near Stratford-on-Avon in July 1995, 16 years after he divorced his first wife Joyce Middleton. While he maintains good terms with Joyce, his university sweetheart and the mother of his daughter and “best friend” Emma, born in 1970, some fans may be confused over what caused the breakdown of his 13-year marriage.

In a rare comment about his love life, John reflected candidly on his “bitter and cynical” attitude and his focus on financial success. 

“I was very bitter and cynical when my first marriage broke up. I thought I was set to be a bachelor for the rest of my life,” he told The Mirror after his marriage to casting director Joyce ended in 1984.

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“But truth to tell, the marriage had been over for many years before the official separation,” he added, calling himself “arrogant” and driven by money. “My preoccupation with striving for success no doubt ruined many a relationship,” he explained.

“Until I was asked to play Bergerac [in 1981], I’d become gloomy and despondent about my future prospects as an actor.

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“I was frustrated, full of complexes and neuroses,” he continued. “I began to lose my self-confidence, and that’s fatal for an actor. In the end, I wasn’t nearly as attentive towards Joyce as I should have been. It’s part and parcel of this business.”

He even went so far as to suggest his pursuit of wealth, driven by his parents’ money struggles in his childhood, was his greatest vice in an interview with the MailOnline.

“I’ve been guilty in the past of prizing material things over personal relationships, but I think I’ve grown up a bit since then,” he said, perhaps hinting at his first marriage.

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After splitting in 1979, John and Joyce continued to co-parent their daughter and even had a professional relationship on Midsomer Murders, where John played Detective Chief Inspector Tom Barnaby and Joyce was the casting director.

Second wife

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Looking inward at his current relationship with Cathryn, John revealed he is less “big-headed” but remains “conservative emotionally”, stating he is not sentimental or romantic, and easily forgets his wedding anniversary. 

John went on to find love with former nurse turned painter Cathryn, whom he met through his late friend, Les Dawson.

They got married in 1995 and now live in a 15th-century longhouse in Holsworthy, Devonshire.

Opening up about their first encounter, the Bergerac actor recalled to the MailOnline: “I met her when I was working in panto with Les Dawson in the 1980s, and we were having a party at the hotel where we were staying.

“Cathryn had been invited by one of the cast, and I was bowled over by how beautiful she was.”