Kim Raver on Steering ‘Grey’s Anatomy’s’ First Open Marriage and Directing That Almost Sex Scene

[This story contains spoilers from season 22, episode 13 of Grey’s Anatomy, “Don’t You (Forget About Me.”]

One hundred and ninety-two episodes into her tenure on Grey’s Anatomy, and Kim Raver is still challenged by what the writers come up with for her character.

Now the chief of surgery at Grey Sloan Memorial, Teddy Altman has been under more pressure than ever in season 22 of the hit ABC medical drama. But the part of her life where the dam is most threatening to burst is with her marriage to fellow trauma surgeon Owen Hunt (played by Kevin McKidd). The latest episode that aired on Thursday, titled “Don’t You (Forget About Me),” pulls Teddy and Owen into uncharted waters — for both their marriage and Grey’s Anatomy — as one of the show’s most longterm couples decides to experiment with an open marriage in order to save their marriage.

With new romantic interests arriving for both of them, Teddy finally acts on the simmering tension between her and Dr. Cass Beckman (played by guest star Sophia Bush), and initiates a hook up at a medical conference. But before things get too steamy, Teddy changes her mind and calls off their fling, explaining to Cass, who is in an open marriage herself, that she doesn’t think having sex with her will save her marriage. What Teddy doesn’t know, however, is that Owen did go through on his end, as viewers see the post-coital moments of Owen in bed with his childhood friend Nora (Floriana Lima).

“What an interesting thing to have these two characters [Teddy and Owen] who love each other so much try to find their way,” Raver tells The Hollywood Reporter of steering Grey’s into open marriage waters. “But now, the match is lit. I really wanted it to be that quintessential Grey’s moment where people are throwing popcorn at the end of the episode.”

Below, Raver, who directed the hour, talks to The Hollywood Reporter about Teddy’s almost-fling with Cass, teasing “complicated” episodes ahead with Owen, and she cites this arc as an example of why she sees no end in sight to playing her badass, very complex surgeon on Grey’s Anatomy.

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Teddy has such a big arc this season. You’ve been in 192 episodes of Grey’s Anatomy. What gets you excited when you’re 22 seasons — was it this storyline?

It’s such an incredible gift to be able to be in company you know so well. I have friends who are doing shows that are seven or eight episodes, but to actually do 18 or 22 or 24, or whatever the amount that we’re doing, per season is such an incredible opportunity. Then on top of it, the opportunity to direct, thanks to this creative company that Shonda Rhimes has created. I feel really lucky that I’ve been with showrunners who instill that. John Wells was another incredible showrunner. That’s where I started my career of doing these long-running series [on Third Watch].

In terms of what gets me excited, Teddy is always in interesting conundrums that are complicated. That’s one of the many amazing things Shonda has instilled in this series. The characters aren’t one-sided, and especially the women. They’re incredibly talented in what they do — they’re these badass surgeons, and then on top of it, they’re living very full, complicated, complex lives. We get to tell those stories where not only are there hero moments, but there are underbelly moments of choices. Choices that Teddy has made that maybe she wishes she hadn’t, but that she learns and grows from. They’re very human, which is what I think the fans relate to most. They have their moments that are not particularly the ones we’re proud of, but that’s what helps them grow into a better moment.

You could use Teddy and Owen wading into this open marriage experiment as an example of that.

Grey’s has never shied away from subjects that people don’t want to talk about, or that, in this case, one person might feel one way about an open marriage and someone might feel strongly against it. That’s the conversation. That’s when Grey’s Anatomy cuts to black and people are having an argument about what’s right or wrong, and that there is no right or wrong. It’s just what someone’s preference is.

The whole storyline was something we wanted to be really careful about, but also mine it in a really interesting way. [Showrunner] Meg Marinis has done an incredible job of really listening to Kevin [McKidd] and I because we wanted to be really careful. We both really love our characters. We both really love the relationship we’ve built over so many years, and I think the writers have done an unbelievable job. Also, it just gets more and more interesting until the season finale.

Grey’s Anatomy and Shonda Rhimes invented pushing the boundaries of broadcast television, and it is boundary-pushing to see Teddy and Owen make this choice. Like you said, an open marriage isn’t necessarily conventional. Also, Teddy doesn’t identify as being attracted to women, she’s just attracted to women. When it came to both acting in and directing this episode, what were the conversations about taking this swing?

You know that the fans are going to have really big feelings about it — and I love our fans; they’re so fantastic and have been so supportive, and that’s why this show does so well. But what’s so interesting is that Shonda has never shied away from those big swings, and that’s taught me to lean into the discomfort because in that discomfort is drama and that’s what creates really interesting art and TV. We had a lot of conversations. It was really funny because Meg, Kevin and I would actually sit down in the Joe’s bar set — because it’s next to where we were shooting, we’ve done it a couple times — and just walk through the things that we felt nervous about, the things that we thought could be really great, the things that we could lean into.

I was really adamant that it be a consensual thing between Teddy and Owen, that they discussed [the open marriage]. Because one of Teddy’s really big fuckups was the affair she had [with neurosurgeon Tom Koracick, played by Greg Germann]. I wanted Teddy to have grown and, while an open marriage is complicated, I felt very much that this couple had been arguing for so long and had been going through so much. I wanted this decision to come after they had gone through therapy and ask, what is the ultimate thing? Is it that they separate and see other people, or is it that they love each other so much they try to stay together? Also, what makes an open marriage? Why do people decide to do an open marriage? I had to get to the bottom of that to understand what it was in order to keep the love between them, and I didn’t want it to just be about them being with other people. I wanted it to be rooted in that they love each other so much, but something’s not working and, how do you move forward when you can see it’s not working? For some people, open marriages work. So what an interesting thing then to have these two characters who love each other so much try to find their way.

What’s really interesting is that it may or may not work for them. So now they are in the moment of what the ripple effect of this story is actually going to be. I love when Teddy says to Cass, “I’m sorry, I can’t go through with this. An open marriage isn’t going to fix my marriage.” That was such a cool realization, but the match is already lit. As a director, I really wanted the end of this episode to be that quintessential Grey’s moment where people are throwing popcorn. That’s when I think people are on their couch having conversations and strong feelings about what they just saw.

Yes, because Owen goes through with it and Teddy stops herself. You and Sophia Bush have had such great chemistry in her appearances this season. As both the director and actor here, what was it like plotting their almost sex scene?

We had an intimacy coordinator. Everything was very much mapped out, there was consent. It was really important to me that we had an intimacy coordinator because I’m directing and in the scene, so I wanted Sophia to feel that all of her choices [were heard] and that we both felt completely comfortable. She is absolutely amazing to work with. I’ve had such an incredible time with her. She’s such a professional, funny and collaborative. It’s really that thing of women supporting women and in this business to have that, especially as a director, is so important. Everyone sets the tone. You raise up other people who are expanding creatively and expanding in the business.

I kind of talked it through like a dance move. I’ve learned so much from Debbie Allen [Grey’s executive producer and director who plays Dr. Catherine Fox]. She really is my mentor; I’ve shadowed her. The entire scene from the door to the bed to even the moves in the bed, I blocked out on my own. Then I walked it through with the intimacy coordinator and the AD. There’s a whole set of steps you go through before you’re even film it, and Sophia was completely [great]. I would be filming it and then I’d come up with a new intention for Teddy — and I say intention, because that’s really important. Everything was physically blocked out, but the intentions were about when Teddy turns from being in the moment to stopping it. It was a real pleasure to direct Sophia and myself throughout the whole episode.

Is this the last we’ll see of Sophia Bush? Is this relationship with Teddy and Cass officially done?

Not sure yet, so stay tuned! I honestly don’t know, and that’s what’s so great about Grey’s; they’re able to watch and see how things evolve. So we’ll we’ll see. It definitely gets more complicated.

Ellen Pompeo [who is also currently starring in Hulu’s Good American Family] was recently asked if she would be returning more as Meredith Grey, and she said yes and that she thinks Grey’s will go on forever. Do you agree with her? And if the show does go on forever, are you in it for the long haul?

I’m totally in it for the long haul. The fact that I get the opportunity to be able to tell the story of Teddy throughout time and then expand with directing… it’s one thing to have an opportunity and it’s another as women in this business to have that opportunity, and to have someone like Debbie Allen take the time and create space to mentor upcoming women in different departments. Shondaland is extraordinary if you look at the people they’ve helped move along. So to be prepared and have opportunity is really a gift.

I love telling the Teddy stories. Our crew is absolutely unbelievable. Everyone is such hard workers and so good at what they do. That’s also what I loved about directing. I was able to learn from every department and I felt so supported by all those departments. In terms of acting, look at how many incredible stories these writers come up with over time? We keep finding new ways to evolve creatively, so I think it can keep going if you look at how the characters evolve as people; we’re constantly changing. Meg is doing such an incredible job showrunning, and the writers just keep those stories coming.

Grey’s has been on for so long that even [departed doctor] Cristina Yang could make a comeback! Sandra Oh recently said she’s now more open to revisiting Grey’s than she has been in the past.

I love Sandra so much. It’s incredible, Grey’s is like a university where there’s like alumna that can come back. Those characters are also so present in the show still. Their storylines [including Yang’s] are so present, and I think the fans are so committed to all those different characters.

Are you directing any other episodes this season?

No. But I love doing it and I look forward to directing other ones in the future. There are 18 episodes this season, this was episode 13. We just wrapped for the season. The finale is amazing. I don’t know how they keep coming up with amazing ideas, but we were all in the table read quickly turning the pages to see what happens next. I can’t give anything away, but it’s a really good one.

Teddy is often put in harm’s way when it comes to Grey’s cliffhangers. Should we be worried about you in the finale?

I think you are worried about everyone in the finale. That’s all I’ll say! It’s quintessential Grey’s, let’s just put it that way.

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Grey’s Anatomy releases new episodes Thursdays at 10 p.m. on ABC, streaming next day on Hulu.