Let’s Talk About the Husbands: ‘The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives’ Is Becoming All About the Men

[This story contains spoilers for The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives season four.]

“MomTok was created as an outlet for us moms to get together, make some videos, have fun and make some money, and DadTok was created to ride off our coattails,” Mayci Neeley says around the nine-minute mark of season four episode seven of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives about beating the men of DadTok in a pickleball tournament.

“MomTok needs to beat DadTok to kind of put them in their place and humble them a little bit. They’re surprisingly cocky, and like, for what?” she adds. “You are here because of us, so remember that.”

It’s a valid sentiment that comes far too late into the Hulu series’ senior installment.

Season four begins with the spotlight on DadTok, aka the husbands (and exes) to the show’s main cast, as they’ve been invited to a luxury getaway filmed for Hulu sister series Vanderpump Villa. Attention is immediately centered on Jordan Ngatikaura, who is still reeling from the affair his wife Jessi Draper had with Vanderpump cast member Marciano Brunette, who himself, off camera, is navigating a legal battle with fellow Mormon Wife Demi Engemann.

Chase McWhorter is invited to said trip for unknown reasons; he’s the ex-husband of Miranda Hope, and as a couple, they both notoriously partook in the swinging scandal that shot the group to virality pre-reality TV with Taylor Frankie Paul. And then there’s his brother, Mason, who, during the time of filming, was dating Layla Taylor and brought into the brotherhood of DadTok, which was formed on the basis of the men being dads (even though he is not a father). 

Dakota Mortensen, of course, is also invited to attend, despite being the highly triggering ex-boyfriend and baby daddy of lead star Taylor. His invitations to film for Mormon Wives certainly don’t stop there, as he’s later whisked into a cast trip to celebrate Jen Affleck and Whitney Leavitt’s Dancing With the Stars debut, where he fights (and hooks up) with Taylor once more, among several other, some solo, appearances.

Throughout season four of Mormon Wives, the men share the spotlight with the women, as shots of them getting fitted for tuxedos ahead of Vanderpump Villa are highlighted alongside another post-Vanderpump bro-down where Jordan is ridiculed for being honest with his wife about Dakota’s escapades while filming.

Later, they meet up for hot dogs in L.A., compete in said pickleball tournament against the women and have their fair share of confessional interviews. At the rate the series is going, all that’s truly left is to add the men to the Mormon Wives intro.

And glaringly, what should be a celebration of Taylor’s casting as the next Bachelorette turns into a pity party for Dakota, who manages to nearly deter Taylor from partaking in the opportunity after they sleep together the night before she flies to Los Angeles to film the reality dating series.

For a show that’s centered around a group of women intent on challenging outdated, misogynistic norms set by the Mormon church, how did The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives get so male-centered? 

It’s evident there was not enough time to apply the critiques viewers voiced following the show’s season three reunion, which was likewise overshadowed by the men on the center stage. Viewers should have taken the special as a preview for season four: Chase being involved for who knows what reason; attempts from Dakota to steal focus from his baby momma, Taylor; and an out-of-place prominence on DadTok in general. 

After the reunion hit Hulu on Dec. 4 (season three filmed in the fall of 2025), viewers took to Reddit to voice their frustrations. “The show is literally called Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, yet some of the men had more to say in the S3 reunion than many of the women,” the user wrote. “It just feels kind of icky to me when Mormons are already so male-centered, and it feels like the producers are trying to push these men into the narrative when the show was supposed to be, and still pretends to be, mostly focused on the women.”

“For how much the girls focus on how much they hate toxic men it sure seems like they give them so much screen time and attention. So many men for what,” another Redditor wrote. “PRODUCERS ANDREA IF UR READING THIS NEXT REUNION PLS NO SOLO HUSBAND SCENES NO RANDOM CHASE BARTENDING CUTS????”

That Redditor may be disappointed upon viewing season four. 

The installment isn’t entirely centered around the husbands, but it’s enough to pull focus. One obvious example of a shift to sharing the men’s stories as opposed to them appearing parallel to their women stems from Jen’s participation on Dancing With the Stars, as her husband Zac Affleck, who has already faced controversy for his treatment of his wife in season one, grapples with the difficulties of staying home to raise their three children while she chases her dancing dreams. 

It’s interesting to watch the tables turn as the men suddenly realize the domestic standards expected of their wives as Mormon women (that is, before their reality series took off and made them the undeniable breadwinners of their families).

Jessi’s estranged husband Jordan echoes this notion in episode seven. “I think growing up in Utah and in Mormon culture, it was very commonplace for men to be the one in charge and the provider,” he says. “DadTok is breaking that stigma, and I think it’s something that’s been difficult for all of us.” 

Mikayla Matthews’ story is another one that stands out to viewers. She and her husband, Jace Terry, opened up about their intimacy issues in season three, where Mikayla was simultaneously pregnant with their fourth child. She delivered their baby a few months before filming the fourth installment, and has also been candid about her experiences of sexual abuse in her childhood, and how her past has impacted her modern feelings around sex.

In season four, Jace insists they work through said intimacy issues, and when they don’t make enough progress, they separate. Off camera, and not yet addressed in length on Mormon Wives, conversations about the age gap between Mikayla and Jace, specifically the ages they were at the beginning of their relationship and her first pregnancy, have been dissected online. Mikayla was 16 when they met, and Jace was 21, and she got pregnant after less than a month of meeting him, after she moved out of her home to leave her abusive situation. She welcomed their first child and wed Jace at 17.

The persistence of the men’s inclusion in the leading narrative of Mormon Wives reaches a new peak in episode 10, when Zac meets up with Whitney to discuss her conflict with his wife. Whitney, who thought she was arriving at the outing to speak with Jen, and Zac argue about the Chicago star yelling at her during the intro shoot and Jen publicly sharing she’s not supporting Whitney on Dancing With the Stars after her elimination.

As both women were navigating filming for Mormon Wives and competing on the ABC show, Whitney was in real-time bearing the brunt of an online hate campaign. She tells Zac that the negativity was “overwhelming,” arguing that Jen’s comments fed fuel to that fire.

In one instance, Whitney acknowledges the pressures of both their busy lives. “This isn’t easy for anyone, Zac. All of us are mentally unwell,” Whitney says. 

“I can tell,” Zac replies to his wife’s co-star.

When sharing the details of their scuffle with her husband, Conner Leavitt, Whitney’s partner voices a thought that reiterates most of what Mormon Wives season four exudes.

“I’m gonna rip that man’s head off. My biggest fucking pet peeve, Whitney, is when men try to make women feel fucking small,” Conner says. “Well guess what, I feel that way,” Whitney replies.

“He wanted you to feel like shit. Mission accomplished, Zac. I hope you feel like a big, strong fucking man right now,” Conner adds. “What a fucking loser.” 

Gone are the days where only the women of MomTok would fight their own battles amongst one another on TV. Now, their husbands are so embedded into the story that they send them to do so for them.

At the core of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives is the Mormon religion, which prioritizes men serving as “the master of his own household.” Of course, the husbands have to be shown on the show, as it’s a natural aspect of the life of a Mormon wife. 

But with season four, it’s apparent that the inner workings of the religion are slowly bleeding into the foundations of the reality series by shifting focus on the men closer and closer to its center. It’s a natural, unfortunate progression, one that’s starting to sour aspects of the Mormon Wives viewing experience.