Oliver Hudson reveals the one special relationship rule he and wife Erinn have to keep their 18-year marriage alive

With a love like Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell’s relationship to act as a shining example in his life, it’s no wonder that actor Oliver Hudson and his wife Erinn have enjoyed a long and unbreakable marriage.

The 48-year-old, who has been married to his wife for an impressive 18 years, revealed the secret to their enduring love at an event for the Goldie Hawn Foundation on September 27.

“You never want to go [away from each other for] too long, but if you’re in this business, you’re going to be away,” he said to People on the red carpet. “I always make it a point to come home anytime that I can.”

He continued: “But aside from that, I think it’s just more about individuation. I think there’s a tendency to become co-dependent, where it’s like, when you’re feeling bad, I’m feeling bad. We are a unit; yes, we are, but we are individuals. You need to go do your [expletive] and let me go do my [expletive] and be okay with it.”

“If I want to go play golf, if I want to go fish, let me do that. If you want to go be with your girls, if you want to do whatever you want to do, you can do that,” the father of three added. “I think that that’s the most important thing.”

Erinn and Oliver first met in the early ’00s in acting class; while they initially remained friends after being paired together for an assignment, they slowly fell in love, and Oliver proposed in 2004.

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The couple tied the knot in an intimate ceremony in Mexico, attended by his sister Kate Hudson and her then-husband Chris Robinson. 

The Cleaning Lady star explained the foundation of his marriage to People at the event.

“If you have one pillar, that [expletive] will teeter and probably fall. If you have two, there’s more stability there,” Oliver said.

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He continued: “So if we got two of them, that structure’s going to stay intact, and that’s how we navigate our stuff. You know what I mean?”

Erinn and Oliver, who have welcomed children Wilder, Bodhi and Rio together, have worked through hardships as a couple to come out stronger than ever on the other side. He admitted on the Sibling Revelry podcast, which he shares with his sister Kate, that he was unfaithful to Erinn when they were engaged. 

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“When I got engaged, something happened psychologically, and I spiraled, and I was unfaithful, and I was cheating, and I was crazy,” he said on the show. “I told her everything because I couldn’t live with myself and get married and be married and have children with this sort of weight.”

“I’m not sure I have many regrets because if I didn’t, it was a choice that I made, whether it was a positive one or a negative one,“ he continued.

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“Which I’ve made some horrible, horrible choices in my life just generally. You would think I regret doing that, but I don’t know where or who I would be if I didn’t make that choice.”

The couple seem to be going strong, even starting a podcast together called Unconsciously Coupled, which discusses everything from raising a family to anxiety.