Brutally Honest Emmy Ballot “There Is Not a Check Large Enough to Get Me to Watch This”

BEST DRAMA SERIES

I’m not a Severance fan. I find it curiously cool, in the Marshall McLuhan sense — I don’t care about the people, and I’m kind of old-school in my William Goldman-like belief that I should. The Diplomat is a nice show, but it doesn’t deserve to be a nominee. Paradise has an unbelievably great concept, but once that was revealed, it felt soapy. The Last of Us, which I voted for the last time it was nominated, was not the same show this season. To be honest, it was a slog to get to the end. I was interested in Pedro Pascal, not in Bella Ramsey. The White Lotus I absolutely loved — the moment between the two brothers may be the moment of the year, and I’m so glad that Mike White reminded us what it’s like to have everyone watch a show on Sunday and then talk about it on Monday. Pretty much every year I could vote for Slow Horses; there’s nothing about that show that I don’t love. But this year, for me, it was between The Pitt and Andor, which was the toughest call on the entire ballot. From the first episode of The Pitt, I was in. For anybody to say it’s not a reboot of ER is hilarious — I’d like to have a piece of Mrs. Crichton’s lawsuit — but structuring it like 24, over one long night at the hospital, was brilliant, as was the casting, which did not miss on a single person. I’m happy Katherine LaNasa was nominated; I loved the nepo babies — Brad Dourif’s kid [Fiona Dourif] and Bryan Cranston’s kid [Taylor Dearden] — and I was blown away by Noah Wyle. I’ve watched other things he was in and never realized he had this depth. I can’t wait for the second season of The Pitt. But I didn’t vote for it because I’ve probably never enjoyed a show as much as I’ve enjoyed Andor. Tony Gilroy is a genius. I’ve loved everything that he’s done since Michael Clayton, but to do a story about how a rebellion against authoritarianism is born, and what it takes for someone to be willing to risk it all to fight authoritarianism, is pretty fucking current, and it was presented in an incredibly entertaining way, leading perfectly right up to Rogue One. If you get to the end of Andor and then don’t go and immediately watch Rogue One, you’re out of your mind because Rogue One is like season three of Andor. The casting is also unbelievable, and it blows my mind that voters overlooked Diego Luna and Genevieve O’Reilly. The whole industry should take a look at what Gilroy did: He took existing IP and made something wholly unique and watchable with it.

MY VOTE Andor (Disney+)

BEST COMEDY SERIES

The Bear is brilliant, but it’s not a comedy. Only Murders in the Building is the same show every year. Shrinking wasn’t as good as it was last season. Hacks was better this season than last — the late night stuff was really good, and they went back to the two of them [Jean Smart and Hannah Einbinder’s characters] feuding, which was what was missing. Nobody Wants This was really cute — there’s some stereotypical stuff that felt a little cliché on both the Jewish and gentile sides, but the casting was perfect, especially Justine Lupe and Timothy Simons in the supporting parts. What We Do in the Shadows is absolutely hilarious and makes me laugh every week. I love Abbott Elementary, and every part of me would love to vote for a network comedy — I’ve voted for it in the past — because I think it’s good for our business if the networks survive. But I voted for The Studio. I know it’s inside baseball, but they nailed our business. Every one of those meetings that they were satirizing, I’ve been in. And the last two episodes, with Bryan Cranston? Classic.

MY VOTE The Studio (Apple TV+)

BEST LIMITED OR ANTHOLOGY SERIES

I love Michelle Williams, but I didn’t care for Dying for Sex. Black Mirror was hit-or-miss based on the episode; the Rashida Jones one was the standout for me this season. I don’t generally like Ryan Murphy shows, but Monsters: The Lyle and Erik Menendez Story was good. The Penguin was really well done — Cristin Milioti, for me, was the reason to watch. But this was the easiest vote of my entire life: Adolescence may be the best television show I’ve ever seen. It’s certainly in the top three. It is, by every possible metric, perfect television. It so upset me and so stayed with me. And it’s rare for me to do a very deep dive into how something was made because I make TV and I can usually figure it out, but I spent hours watching stuff about how they made it, why they made it, the backstory and Stephen Graham talking about his process. I was a huge Stephen Graham fan before this, but he’d almost always played a villain. Not in this one. He was remarkable. That last episode, where he goes into his kid’s room and apologizes to the pillow, and then to the mother? My God. And the kid [Owen Cooper] was a total find. Anyway, the difference between this show and every other show in the category is the difference between hamburgers at The Apple Pan and hamburgers at White Castle. And any parent that watches this show and isn’t rocked to their core is not paying attention.

MY VOTE Adolescence (Netflix)

BEST TALK SERIES

I only watch The Daily Show on Mondays [when Jon Stewart hosts]. If Jon was on every night, it might be a different conversation. I watch Jimmy Kimmel Live!‘s Jimmy Kimmel and The Late Show‘s Stephen Colbert every night. I love Kimmel and so admire the cojones he has to take on the Trump administration — he goes right after them — and he’s a terrific interviewer, the one that reminds me the most of Carson. I would’ve voted for him, but I’m voting for The Late Show because of what Paramount did to Colbert, just so he can get up and give a speech, and because it would be an absolute “fuck-you” to Trump. You saw that he Truth Social-ed the next day and took credit for Colbert getting fired? Fuck him.

MY VOTE The Late Show with Stephen Colbert (CBS)

BEST SCRIPTED VARIETY SERIES

It’s ridiculous that there are only two nominees. I did not love the 50th season of Saturday Night Live and was disappointed by the reunion show, to be honest — Eddie Murphy was hilarious, but everything else was kind of weak. Last Week Tonight is so smart every week, and John Oliver is not afraid of any subject, including taking on the people that write his paycheck. I guess he has such a following and enough power that he, at least so far, gets away with it. I hope, God willing, that continues. This season’s pièce de résistance was when he convinced the owner of a minor league baseball team to rebrand it. He’s done these shticky things every season, but this was one of the best. A Nathan Fielder moment.

MY VOTE Last Week Tonight With John Oliver (HBO)

BEST TELEVISION MOVIE

I did not see Bridget Jones: Mad About the Boy — I do have Peacock, but only so I can watch Dateline — and there is not a check you could write that would be large enough to get me to watch that. I don’t understand how Nonnas got nominated — it has a great cast of senior citizen ladies, but it’s so slight, and there are better movies on Lifetime. The Gorge is a great concept with weak execution. Mountainhead was hugely disappointing: Succession creator/writer Jesse Armstrong obviously had something to say about tech bros, but somehow he forgot to actually have a story or a character that we care about. Rebel Ridge I absolutely loved. It was one of the best movies of the year, period.

MY VOTE Rebel Ridge (Netflix)

This story appeared in the Sept. 10 issue of The Hollywood Reporter magazine. Click here to subscribe.